Alot has happend to me in these last few years. Alot around me has changed. I can't seem to figure out how to move with change quite as easily as everyone else envolved. It seems to me that i've lost alot. I sometimes forget that i can't change the past. Then i start thinking would that really work? would i really be happy with different choices, with different outcomes? and i come to realize that i am happy with how things turned out. Everything before seems like a different life to me. The way i look back now helps me to think that i am okay with change....I know change is good for me, and i need it..But that does not make it any less hard for me. I miss things the way they use to be, the life i had. But in the end i wouldn't change the life i had before for the life i have now. When i talk about change i'm not talking about the everyday i'll eat cereal instead of a bagel. I'm talking about life. Changes in it. and through the changes what i've lost just as well as what i have gained. For one i've lost alot of my friends. Some by moving, others by death. And still others by wrong choices. It makes me sad to think about change. What i might be missing out on. My family, My friends, and just people walking past me on the street. Change doesn't even have to be considered within the last few years but still rather in these last few months. So much has happend to me. I'm not exactly sure how to feel. I know i'm not moving with the change quite as quickly as the others. And it's taken me time to figure out what i want from it all. Also realizing what i've lost through it all. It will never be the same again, and i'm learning how to let go. I'm confussed when i think about it all, but it seems clear when i look ahead, when i am focusing on my goals at hand. What has happend to me has not only strengthen me in the thought that things will work out, but it has also let me be more open. And i am glad for that, but again....What i have lost through it...i am so sorry.... but it can't change and it won't..i won't let it happen again.....but i am not sorry that it did. People in my life have come and gone. Still others have stayed around longer. Change will keep comming and i will do my best to move with it. In the hope that in the end things will work out.